Pumpkin time/Birthday trip

Oh where to begin!

I had my 24 birthday.  I feel rather lost...I know I sound ridiculous.  I really had a plan to have my first kid when I was 24 and I'm somehow not ready AT ALL.  I don't feel like I will be ready for a few years at least!  It is just weird to finally be at an age where I am actually old enough to start a family without people wondering why I started so young.  I know if I did have a kid, it would be my entire life.  The two things I know are:

1. I want to travel
2. I want to be a great mom

I feel like in my core it is my purpose.  That sounds cheesy and somewhat weird, but I really can't wait to be a mom someday.  It is troubling to me as to why I'm not ready.  This was the plan!  I want to be a younger mom where I have energy to play I've been married 3 years...that is enough time to have "our fun."  I don't know if it is fear, or uncertainty of the future.  I know a lot of people don't feel "ready" and it's something you just have to do.  I know if I did get pregnant I would love my child more than the world and my entire life would change for the better.  Just something doesn't feel right right now.  There is just something so wonderful about loving another person more than anyone else in the world and putting their needs above yours.  I'm want to be a HUGE part of my kids lives.  I want to be there for their sports games, and be a part of the organizations they are a part of.  I want to be able to do special things like the Polar Express, Disney World, etc.  I don't know what I can't put my finger on...because I KNOW I want this more than anything in the world.  Something just isn't right yet.


This weekend was a lot of fun.  We went down to St. Louis Friday night. Saturday we went to Dave and Busters and the Landing.  Dave and Busters is a blast!  I wish we had one around here...Jillians just isn't the same.  We played this sweet ginormous connect 4 game.

Okay...okay...onto the exciting part...pumpkin carving today.  My porch is finally fallish looking!

Black Cat!

I found this idea on Pinterest.  You just paint a piece of wood and then modge podge a picture over the top once the paint dries.  I used a picture I had a million of...but Ashley and I had our pictures professionally taken so I'm going to do some cooler ones with that. Very cool idea

Is this real love, or madness?

I have the prettiest mom!  I found this picture today from when she got married to my wonderful stepdad 7 years ago! That is my grandma.  We were incredibly close, but she lost her battle to cancer close to 6 years ago.  She taught me how to play poker when I was 5 years old and we use to gamble off pennies.  I also use to go to the UAW hall with her (she was a CAT employee) and I would play poker with all of her union buddies. I was a good little democrat haha.  I use to stand on the table and yell something about "scabs" giving them their jobs back, and then I got a half dollar from an elderly guy. I miss her every day.  My uncle John is also in the picture.  He walked my mom down the aisle that day.

I made breaded parmesan pork chops for dinner...it was delish.  Then I went for a mile run and I could possibly die now.  I'm so mad I let myself get out of shape...but I want to get back on track.  Todd went on the run too...he is also out of shape.  Poor pup!

I went out with some girls last night.

I turn 24 in 5 days!  I'm officially going to St. Louis for the weekend.  I was unable to get a hotel downtown since I booked last minute, but it's not a huge deal because we got one about 20 mins outside of town.  We are staying 2 nights, but since our friends Anthony and Kirsten are joining we only had to pay for 1 night.   It is conveniently close to Harrahs (our favorite casino down there) and Dave and Busters.  So I know we are probably going to Harrahs at some point, definitely the Landing Saturday night, hopefully Grants Farm and some breweries.  Hopefully I don't have to deal with too much annoying Cardinals talk.  I can't believe I'm not going to a Blues game!   It's a bummer because my sister, Marla, is going to be in town this weekend. I didn't know until I already had planned everything out.  She lives in Asheville NC...one of my FAVORITE places I've ever been.  Plenty to do outdoors, not too far from the ocean, a big dog community...great weather,..it's perfect!  There are a ton of cute shops and nice cafes to eat at.  That is where central Illinois is seriously lacking.  If I want a nice cafe to go eat at outside...my choice is basically Panera of Camilles.  Woopdidooooo.  Don't get me wrong, I love both of those places.  It would be nice to have a specialty cafe though.  I have a brother who lives in Lake Havasu AZ. It is the hottest city in the US.  Also a very neat place to go, but I wouldn't relocate there forever.  Why am I the only one stuck in Illinois?  I've really been trying to have an open mind about it lately however.  Central Illinois isn't THAT bad, but there are just so many better places.  I really like the east coast.  Someday, I want to live in a victorian style of cape cod style house.   That is an ultimate goal.  It is more than a goal...I WILL live in one someday!

So wish my luck on my mission to begin eating healthier and working out regularly again.  Time to sleep!

/Cry

I'm tired but Jake is moping that I haven't updated in two days.

I had an awful day at work.  So I felt I needed to spoil myself for dinner, so we went to Olive Garden. Then we came home and were really wild.  By wild, I mean we watched the VP debates.  I have strong political views, but as I am a private person, I don't like sharing them often.  People take opinions too personally and I do not like fighting with my friends.  If people could carry on a normal conversation  I would be all for it.  But it is almost like people get hateful about it.  It's not worth it to me.

I really want to get more involved with the United Way.  I'm considering joining Generation United.  I think I might go to a haunted house tomorrow.  I have nothing interesting to say!  Is this good enough?

Today after work Heather and I stood around and did "It's Pat" impressions. I love her! I think there were also some "Very Nice" Borat impressions.

She is going as "It's Pat" to her Halloween party.  It was just suppose to be a normal Halloween party, but it kind of turned into an SNL themed one.  I'm going as Sally O'Malley!

Yes...I will be doing my hair like that!  I can't wait to get pictures.  I've been practicing doing my high kicks and says "I'M FIFTY!! I LIKE TO KICK, STRETCH, AND KICK!"

Actually, I'm going to go try on my costume now for Jake since he hasn't seen it yet.  Then I have to do my impression to see what he thinks.  I got my costume the other day for 5 bucks!

Alright...until next time....

Christmas Frame!

I started making my chalkboard frame last night for my friend who wanted me to make her some.  I painted it red...and the color didn't turn out how I was wanting. I decided to keep it for myself (when I make something for someone else, I want it to be perfect!)

Anyways...the red color turned out SO red that I decided to convert it to a Christmas countdown calendar...and I LOVE it!

I went to Hobby Lobby and bought some green sequins  a ribbon to make a bow out of, and some green pom poms.

Sit on a table...

...Or hang on the wall

This is what I started with.

This is the point where I thought....wow that is really, REALLY, red....oops.

Yay! 

Also..I used THIS hair tutorial today to curl my hair...and I HIGHLY suggest it. It takes too long to do it every single day, but I plan on using it many many more times.

Weekend

I went to a real college homecoming this weekend.  Glad I have finally got to have the experience.  It was a lot of fun!  Although I'm not sure it is something I'd want to do all the time.  Maybe I should give some background.

I didn't go to a four year school after high school.  I came very close to going to WIU, but my parents agreed to pay for my ICC if I went there for two years first.  I have also been working almost full time since a week or two after my 16th birthday.  I didn't know what I wanted to do, I still don't really, so I did not want to waste my money at a four year school...good thing to!  Because I changed my major times.  It went from:

1. Secondary Education (I wanted to teach high school math)
2. Civil Engineering
3. Mass Communications
4. Public Relations
5. Business Administration..and still is today!

I am very interested in business...simply because it would be a dream come true to own my own business someday.  There is something about entrepreneurship that is extremely appealing to me!  I love doing hair and makeup, so I have even though about going to cosmetology school  and then eventually opening my own salon.  I don't think my mom would support that decision.  She was a hair dresser until I was in 3rd grade and it was hard since she didn't get health insurance.  Anyways..off topic, wow!

The college homecoming experience was a lot of fun.  I went with one of my best friends, Rebecca and some other people. Jake was going out of town with his brother. Fun night...but I wouldn't go back in time and change the way I did things, and I wouldn't give up my cozy bed.  Bed never felt as good as it did this morning when I got home.  Here are some pictures from my fun night:

No good pictures unfortunately!  Still fun though.  

I started making my photoframes today for my friend from work.  I can't wait to have a day off tomorrow!  I have a doctors appointment, then I plan on going to Jeffrey Alans (kind of like a Hobby Lobby), and I plan on having Smoothie King for lunch.  I have to go cancel my gym membership that I have in Peoria.  

I'm sad because the NHL canceled all the hockey games up until October 24th, so I can't go to a game for my birthday now. Booo!  So now I don't know what to do for my birthday weekend.  

Happy Fall Bikerides. :]

Perfect hot tub night

I'm sitting in the car outside Wal-Mart because Jake needs turkey meat...and I refuse to walk anywhere else in these heals I wore today! He already made me go to Buffalo Wild Wings in them. Tonight is chilly and raining, so we are going to Ashley's to get in the hot tub after this. Which reminds me...Hunter was born tonight! Ashley's sister Christina and Matt finally had their first baby.  In October, the best month of the year! So now his mom, grandma,  Aunt Chase, and Hunter have birthdays together. Hunter looks identical to dad...I can't get over it! Uncanny!  I finally took my shoes off. My feet don't smell. The other day my socks were BAD! So naturally I took them in the car with Jake when we went to Walgreens because he was disgusted. I stuck them in his lap and he couldn't figure out what the smell was. Then he finally figured it out and was so disgusted he stuck them out the window and rolled it up. So my socks were airing out for awhile. Its not my feet....its the shoes! I swear! We are listening to the band Of Monsters and Men. I hope we see The Perks of Being a Wallflower tomorrow! I love that book so much. Ok..I'll be posting my table soon. Peace!

Table Idea!

Hobby Lobby is my sanctuary.  I went there to price photo frames for my friends and I also am going to redo my white lack desk I bought from IKEA.  I normally do my crafts on this table and it's very plain.
I've known I've wanted to redo it for a long time, but I had a weird dream about it last night.

I think I'm going to spray paint it a pretty dark purple color, then stencil on some other designs.  I had all the supplies in my hands and then told myself, NO, PUT IT BACK!  haha.  I get paid on Thursday and the responsible thing to do would be to wait. UG.  I did however want to write this down before I forgot!

So today I had a day off from work for once! I've done a ton of laundry and I've been watching Disappeared on Netflix all day.  I'm cool, I know. I got a text from JD in the middle of the day requesting a hooded bike ride tonight, so we did that.  We decided I need a name for my bike, but I can't decide what to name her. We didn't get to bike ride for very long because it started to rain...boooo!

It is hard to believe we have almost been together 5 years.  I remember the first time my best friend Anthony told me he hung out with Jake and they got kicked out of the town Goofyridge and I thought he sounded super funny.  One night with friends, I wore a blonde wig and Anthony took a picture and sent it to a bunch of his friends, including Jake.  Jake texted back wondering who I was...so then I had to text him from my phone to defend myself! So we literally met through a text message.  We got along so well via text we decided to meet in person.  I remember the night before our first date doing handstands in my bed talking to Anthony about how excited I was.  It's funny Anthony use to basically live with me. I didn't ACTUALLY know if it was a date...I remember after dinner asking "so are you paying for this?" HA!  It apparently didn't bother him...sometimes my lack of a filter gets me into trouble.  He didn't know if it was a date either.  But then we ended up going to the river front and sat down there and talked until 3 in the morning.  We've had some really rough times, but then I think of all the things he does that let me know he really cares about me.  He never says or does anything to hurt me intentionally.  He loves everything I make and do.  When I think about it, I'm a pretty lucky girl.   I've had a lot of bad that has happened in my life, it is sometimes hard for me to accept the good.  I don't feel sorry for myself, I only work at improving myself.  My point being, maybe the good people that come into your life are a gift.  I truly believe every one comes into your life for a reason, and everything will work out in the end if you trust it. A lot of times, people need to stop looking for something better, and look at what is right in front of them.  This ones for you JD, the only person I know of who religiously reads what I write in these things.  Thank you for everything.